


he smiled.

by raach



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band), 믹스나인 | MIXNINE (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicide, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 07:30:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13497492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raach/pseuds/raach
Summary: he smiled.it hurt.





	he smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> yg is dead to me
> 
> also sorry if this is shit :)
> 
> also also I skipped out on the malaysia trip -and the events that take place in this fic might not have happened in that particular order as I was basing this off of memory so sorry bout that.
> 
> also³ this is based off of mixnine but sehyoon was not treated like this so don't get mad at byeongkwan 
> 
> also {quadrupled} sorry for this.. this is all fiction so yeah - I love sehyoon with all my heart lmao idk why I did this
> 
> ~may update~ shitty asshole yg completely disregarded the top9 and now they're not debuting and I just want him to go out of business haha love you xx

_**he smiled.** _

/

sehyoon was happy to be in mixnine as it was a chance to get more people to recognise ace. he was happy that all of his members got into some sort of elimination show anyway.

he wasn't happy about yg though, when he was younger he hoped to never see that fish looking asshole ever again but here he was, back as a yg trainee basically.

 

/

 

donghun and byeongkwan got noticed right away and even though he was happy for his members, he still didn't know what he was doing wrong to get a rank so low when his members were in the top nine.

he just kept on trying his hardest.

 

/

 

sehyoon liked the 'my house' team, he found it hard to open up to some people as he was naturally shy but he was glad when they decided to do his dance move with the tie.

he liked hangyeom, he was nice. when he said that he thinks sehyoons rank will go from a 68 to a 6 after the performance, his appreciation for his friend only grew.

it was nice to have someone to talk to.

he still had byeongkwan and donghun but he felt that they were slowly drifting away from him because of their ranks.

he didn't want to lose them so he just worked harder.

 

/

 

after the my house performance, his rank went up to 20. he was so happy he could scream (and he did, outside when everyone was practicing and he went to go for a 'toliet break')

he went up to byeongkwan to say congratulations because his rank also went up but sehyoon went unnoticed.

sehyoon eventually went back to his dorm and sat there for a while.

 

/

 

sehyoon was the leader of his team for his next performance, ringa linga.

he had danced to this song before as a backup dancer for junhee alongside byeongkwan...

byeongkwan doesn't really talk to him anymore, sehyoon says hes okay with it. byeongkwan can have other friends, it's not like they're dating or anything.

(but unbeknownst to byeongkwan, sehyoon would really like to)

 

/

 

the ringa linga team and the paradise lost team were both in the top 2.

byeongkwan held sehyoon's hand as the first place winner was called out.

sehyoon was happy for his friend as his team was called out. don't get him wrong, he was sad that his team got second but proud nonetheless but what really got him was that that was the first time byeongkwan acknowledged him in days.

he didn't let it show though, instead _**he smiled.**_

 

 

/

 

next was the song composed by famous people that sehyoon didn't really care about.

wasn't it funny that out of all the weeks that they've been on this show, sehyoon was never once in a team with either byeongkwan or donghun.

he was the leader of his team again, not that many people knew. he watched the last episodes and realised that he will never be noticed, not by mixnine, not by the cameramen and not even by his teammates.

it saddened him yes but he was now no. 11 and it was the closest he's ever gotten to the top nine. he was determined to get noticed by fans so he practiced and practiced, hoping to finally be worthy like his other members so he just bottled all of his negative thoughts up and **_he smiled._**

 

/

 

sehyoon thinks it worked, he was now number 10. one away from being in the same group as his teammates.

but then he guesses he must have gone wrong somewhere because just before the final, his rank goes up to 11 again.

 

/

 

finally, he's in the same team as his fellow a.c.e members. ecstatic wouldn't even describe how he feels right now.

donghun is really close with hyojin and hangyeom now and byeongkwan has his own friends too.

sehyoon has no one.

anyway he'll just have to suck it up and instead of being angsty, _**he smiled.**_

 

/

 

byeongkwan number 4.

donghun number 8

sehyoon number 11

...

they got in, _ **he didn't.**_

they will debut in april, _**he won't.**_

they will become closer to other people, sehyoon will still be alone.

sehyoon was happy for them, he really was. this will do great things for ace but right now all sehyoon can do is beat himself up for not trying hard enough. for not trying to talk more when he had the chance. for not putting himself out there as much as he wished he could.

sehyoon was on the verge of tears.

he told himself he wouldnt cry on camera so he sucked it up yet again and **_he smiled._**

 

 ****/

 

he was the only one at the beat interactive building that night. 

byeongkwan and donghun went out with the other contestants for celebratory drinks.

as much as he tried not to think about it, he knew it was only a matter of time before donghun and byeongkwan became complete strangers to sehyoon.

it was inevitable

 

/

 

the staff congratulated him on getting this far.

even though sehyoon was dying inside, he said thank you and _ **he smiled.**_

 

/

 

it blew up. 

boom.

speculations about it where all over the tabloids.

it was his decision in the end though.

he knew it was right.

for once in his life he was certain he made the right choice.

hah choice... won't have anything to do with choice in a matter of hours.

he will miss choice always but it was for the best.

he felt like a burden to his team.

thats why he's standing in the beat interactive building one last time as he gets his contract revoked.

no more beat interactive, no more training until he gets dizzy, no more waking up at four in the morning, no more having ramyun for every meal of the day, no more junhee, no more donghun, no more yuchan, no more byeongkwan, no more a.c.e.

it was in his mind for a while now, just after callin' was released, the thought that he wasn't good enough for his team popped into his head.

the thought just proved to be true after mixnine.

the only a.c.e member not going to debut with the boys team.

 

/

 

it was done.

he is no longer a member of the 5 members - now 4 - that make up a group called a.c.e.

he was content with his decision.

he moved back to his hometown, not looking at the tabloids that speculated that he left because he was pissed he wasn't debuting with the mixnine group.

he wasn't pissed, he wasn't sad, he was empty.

very empty

he didn't know what to do anymore.

the other members will probably find out soon enough, whether it be from the tabloids, their company, or the notes sehyoon left each of them.

thats why he got into his car and drove far away. he left his phone at the dorms too, away from anyone and everyone that will tell him to stop.

the notes.

junhee's read 

hi jun,

I'm sorry I had to do this and made it harder for the team. you were a great leader.

donghun's read

hey donghun-hyung

this was my decision, please don't be sad. take care of the others will you please? for me? you were a great hyung

yuchan's read

hey channie

I hope you are doing well. good luck on the unit! know that I'm rooting for you! I never told you but you look so cool in your all day mv. I should've told you in person but here I am. you were a great donsaeng.

and finally, byeongkwan's read

hi kwannie,

I'll be long gone by the time you read this. I've struggled with a lot of things in my lifetime and I chose to ignore problems but I guess all the negative thoughts just caught up to me and it was too much. I kept smiling even though I was dying inside for everyone's sake. just know that I love you yeah? like properly love you.. remember when I came out to you and you comforted me while I cried? yeah, thanks for that but I actually did really love you. sorry I didn't tell you in person. we could've been something you know? ha who am I kidding. anyways I'll miss you. thanks.

those were placed in the dorms. 

they should be home in 4 hours.

i should be gone in 1 minute.

goodbye.

 

/

 

the a.c.e members found the letters and everyone was crying except for byeongkwan. he was confused. they saw the news.

"25 year old found dead after driving down a cliff"

why would sehyoon do this? byeongkwan thought. it didn't make any sense. byeongkwan thought he was happy.

he went straight to his room and curled up on the couch.

he kept rereading the note.

"I kept smiling even though I was dying inside for everyone's sake"

for once byeongkwan wasn't smiling. 

he imagined sehyoon in his head.

_**he smiled.** _

_**it hurt** _

**Author's Note:**

> the ending was kinda bad sorry
> 
> sorry for writing this also 
> 
> shameless promo @kpoprach on twitter ;)


End file.
